The Day You Said Goodnight
by empurple
Summary: "I don't think I'd do very well as Queen of the Night," she said to him, "Unless you fit in there somewhere." He didn't deserve her love. But she loved him anyway. And there were no shortage of fault in their stars. Prussia x OC. Gilicia, BTT, other pairings implied. Character death. Cursing. More warnings inside.
1. Prologue

Warnings: Angst, fluff and loving someone so much it hurts. Take a glimpse of Alicia and Gilbert's relationship, and how truly simple love can be. This is based off an rp which you can request for by sending me a PM. Also contains a few Frali scenes, for the fans of that (I still can't believe you guys exist) and more pairings. Supposedly just six chapters, but that's subject to change under prior notice.

For best results, read this chapter with this song playing in your ears: Bright Lights and Cityscapes by Sara Bareilles

General knowledge (especially for those who haven't read Ocean Blue or A Few Good Men): Alicia Aragon is the representation of the Crown of Aragon, Spain; now known as the region, Aragon. She and Francis were together in early 1500-1600s. They've been together until recently, when Alicia had a change of heart, and fell in love with Gilbert. Antonio approves (I mean, why wouldn't he?).

**Hetalia x The Fault in Our Stars** (by John Green)

I figured that, of all stories this show has been crossed with, this one should be taken into perspective.

* * *

"_Conjoiner rejoinder prisoner concealer revelator. Look at it, rising up and rising down._

_Taking everything with it."_

_"What's that?"_

_"Water._

_**And, well… Time**__."_

_~John Green_

* * *

Prologue

It was almost like he couldn't breathe, and Gilbert tried his _very_ best not to just follow after her. He could have. He considered that he should have. But he remembered his brother – his son – whom he promised to stay alive for. For the longest time, he had been trying to convince himself that Ludwig was enough. But here he was, blankly staring at a wall for five hours, because it had been confirmed that Alicia's body had given up. She was gone. And it was only then that he realized that he hadn't been living until he met her – and now, what his life would and could have been had gone with her. For the first time in a long time, he felt incredibly and hopelessly empty.

These past few months… He had lived because of her.

Texts began to pour in from his little brother. The German must have gotten wind of the news, but at the moment, Gilbert didn't have the heart in him to mind.

_Brother, I'm sorry. I just heard. _

_Brother, please say something. Antonio has been trying to call you. Please pick up. _

_Brother… You really loved her, didn't you? _

The last message got him to sober up from his inebriety on sorrow, just enough to send a reply to Ludwig.

_Love. Present tense._

* * *

When people would go into the emergency room, even if you're writhing in pain, or screaming bloody murder, they'll ask you to rate the pain from one to ten, ten being the most painful. For every time that Ludwig had brought the albino to the hospital (more often than not, against the Prussian's will), they would repetitively ask the Prussian this to know if medications were working or what not.

He had always said, no matter how painful it was to bear, no matter how excruciating, that it was a nine. The doctors even commended him, "I know you're a fighter," they would say, "Because you call a ten, a nine."

But it wasn't. He was saving his ten, for something more terrible, something beyond what he could comprehend. And here it was. His great ten, washing over him like how waves eat up the shore. He could be carried off, sunk into it, but he couldn't drown. He almost wanted to beg the stars to take him right there and then. He could barely even blink without seeing her face, hearing her voice, feeling her touch, or her soft lips against his cheek. It was all so vivid. All so real – and now – _all too gone_. He couldn't even give himself his old reasons, where he didn't want to be forgotten or wanted to be remembered. Those were the lies, the bullshit he came up with to cover up the truth.

He loves her so much. So, so much, in fact.

How to be okay after something like that?

* * *

Lovino had gone out of the ICU to finally say something to him. His eyes were livid. Bags were under his eyes. He couldn't even look straight at the Prussian. He did his best, and he still felt like he failed his mother, Antonio and the Prussian who loved his mother, "… You should stay with us until the funeral on Sunday."

"It's not your fault." And the albino knew it to be true. He wanted to blame someone – anyone – because the universe was too cruel, too flighty. It gave you the wonders of the world one day, and takes it from you the next. He had always known that one of them would die. He just never thought that it would be her.

"Gilbert." Lovino had sat down on the bench right beside him, turning to him.

"Yeah?" he asked, not really wanting to carry a conversation. How could they talk about it, anyway? He felt a heavy loss. He was sure Lovino would feel the same way.

He handed the Prussian a folded-up piece of paper, "I don't know if we've said it before, but she doesn't leave home without it."

Gilbert knew just what it was. And as he took it in his trembling hands, he began to cry again, "_D-Danke._"

The Italian wasn't sure if giving it back was the best idea, seeing as the mere sight of it made the Prussian burst into tears in memory of her.

* * *

When Gilbert walked into the cathedral in the city of Zaragosa, he stopped at the last two pews. There were quite a number of people, half of them he didn't even know. He recognized most of them as common town-folk – because Alicia loved her city, and everyone who lived in it. He could see several of Antonio's colonies and brothers up in the front, and he felt like walking back and just leaving, regardless of whether he was already dressed and ready for the occasion. However, it wasn't until an arm heavily hung over him, as he took in the strong scent of cigarettes and wine that he began to march forward, "I think she'd like you to see her one last time."

As they walked down the aisle, Gilbert's fists clenched, "Francis." He breathed out, derision in his voice, "What do you think you're-?"

"I know you must hate me. But please, give this day to her," his voice dripped of sorrow, emptiness, loneliness, "I can only be grateful to you because I was assured of her happiness until this moment. So please, _mon ami,_" he begged as he towed the Prussian along, "Let me share the pain of losing her."

Gilbert didn't know what to say. Francis had loved her for almost a thousand years. He made the mistake of abandoning her, replacing her with the thoughts of Jeanne, and which tore Alicia apart at the seams. That was when she began to fall in love with Gilbert, and he with her. And only when Alicia had loved someone else did the Frenchman realize she was much worth than someone who had died long ago. It had never occurred to him that he still loved her up to the day, even when they had ended their relationship quite a number of months ago.

It was rare for Francis not to have someone to replace a former flame. Then again, Alicia wasn't just any ordinary person.

"Okay." It was all Gilbert could utter as he hung an arm around his former friend, "Okay."

Antonio was just sitting in the first pew. Eyes livid, hair messier than usual and tie undone. His green eyes were dulled, and neither Gilbert nor Francis had ever seen him wear that expression before. Lovino was standing a few feet away, shaking people's hands, accepting condolences, and trying his very best not to burst into a fit of tears. The moment the Italian saw Francis and Gilbert, he nodded curtly at them, "You can join him," he meant Antonio, "We're still in the process of taking it in as well."

The albino nodded in understanding, and he and the Frenchman sat on either side of the Spaniard.

Francis lost his lover twice – once in Alicia's choice to be with him, the other in her death. Antonio lost the sister closest to his heart, the probable future of the Italian whom he loved. Lovino lost his sister, his mother – the first and probably only – woman in his life he had ever loved entirely. And he, Gilbert sighed to himself, lost the person whom he trusted his whole being to, whom he loved with all his body and soul, the angel who loved a monster like him. They would probably sum up all the sorrows of the entire room. And they sat in silence as people began to speak for her.

They were all people who had, at one point or another, cared about the Aragonese woman. Maria of the Philippines and Miguel of Mexico cried their tear-ducts dry as they attempted to speak their words. Aria, the Kingdom of Sicily, clutched tightly upon Lovino as she spoke, then broke down in the middle and was unable to continue. Shockingly, Arthur came up to say a few words, stumbling a little about how he actually cared about the girl, even though he didn't act like it, which made Antonio smile a little. Then, Francis stood up to speak.

He made it clear that he loved her. But also made it clear that she wasn't his, but once was – with all regret and grief in his tone of voice that Gilbert forgot to be angry at him: after all, they were friends. He never actually meant to fall in love and take Alicia away – but he knew that the Frenchman wasn't treating her well. Francis, however, ended his eulogy with a statement that caught Gilbert by surprise, "… After the rain, the Sun will rise again."

When the minister called Gilbert to speak, he was referred to as a "special friend", making Lovino bury his hand in his face, and some of the audience hang their heads at him.

The Prussian felt it right to make the necessary correction, "I'm her boyfriend," it earned a couple of laughs from the crowd, "In fact, if I'd only known sooner, and if I'd have been braver about consequences, I'd be her husband, and she'd be my wife." That silenced the crowd.

"Life may not be so short for all of us," began Gilbert, nodding to a few of the nations who sat in front, "But if anything, being with Alicia would be the chapter of the book of my life I'd love to keep going back to. We have an incorrect concept of infinity, and forever, and always. We always seem to believe that just because it doesn't last a long time, it isn't forever… But infinity can be a limited number of days, a numbered set of Sunrises."

However, from that point on, he couldn't find his voice, "And sunrises you can't have when your Sunshine is gone." After that, he began to spout just any load of bullshit he could muster, encouraging everyone that life can go on and all that nonsense. A lot of people nodded, but through the eyes of Antonio, Lovino and Francis, he realized that they all knew that he was forcing himself to say it. People didn't go to funerals to provide support and love for those who remain. Those who remain ultimately brag their life, knowing they have outlived another.

And Gilbert, a someone who was dying, sighed as he sat back down on the seat beside Antonio with one realization.

Funerals are for the living.

* * *

**A/N:** It's short, and a work-in-progress, but I really loved the idea I've got for this, so please bear with me. This chapter is short, but the next few will be longer, I promise :)


	2. Chapter 1

_You __**aren't**__ a bad person._

_You're a good person, __**bad things happened to**__._

_~J.K. Rowling_

* * *

Chapter One

After the Berlin wall came down, and East and West Germany became one, the Prussian had basically accepted the fact that his time has come to an end. It wasn't a question anymore. The Sun had reached its end of the day, and it was time for the Moon to reflect the Sun's light. He'd begun to spend more time with a lot of the other German states, and he'd begun to say good-bye to some of his former enemies (Arthur included). The almost-eternity he had spent in Russia left him pale (well, paler), weak and thin, and he looked more sickly than he ought. It was then that Ludwig had decided that he was depressed, but of course, Gilbert would greatly deny it, even to the point of reminding him that he'd gone out with Antonio and Francis often, sometimes including their respective lovers. Then, to that, his little brother deduced that he was lonely, and that there was something he must be looking for that the German couldn't give – a love outside of the family, something more.

Gilbert denied it to no end, until the idea manifested itself in the oddest way possible.

* * *

Initially, he didn't mean anything by it. He wanted to get away from the dreary city life, even if Berlin was a city of life. He wanted adventure, he wanted the outside. But most of all, he wanted to be free. The albino had barely seen or felt the warmth of the sun since his dissolution, and when the Aragonese woman came knocking at his door with a request for companionship, he just couldn't say no. Not when her face spelled out "Antonio's Sister", and not when her eyes filled with tears when something reminded her of her terribly French beau. He had a grudge against the Frenchman for signing off a paper to let him go freeze to death, but he spoke kindly of him so as to comfort the poor girl, who had so much love to give for naught.

It irked him. _How could Francis leave someone like her?_

They were in a bar, a few blocks away from the center of Madrid, where Antonio had invited his friends for a drink. Alicia, who had been sitting beside the Prussian who toured her around his home town in Berlin, had been stood up by the Frenchman, who had been her lover for quite some time. As much as he was annoyed, Gilbert couldn't find it in him to upset the girl even more. So, he sat beside her, a cup of coffee spiked with Irish Whiskey in her hands, sighing into the night.

"Oh come now, _sorella._" Lovino frowned from across the table, where the Spaniard had his arms around the Italian, "Don't think about your wine-bastard of a boyfriend – we're all killing him if he gets back."

"When." Corrected the Antonio.

"No, 'if' is the right word," Alicia agreed, making the Prussian raise a curious eyebrow, rendering her silent. She scoffed at the pairs of eyes watching her, "Please, don't talk about me. I don't want to talk about me for a while." Her eyes met her brother's emerald green ones as though they had an understanding.

"All right, let's go to Gil~" Antonio grinned.

Immediately, Gilbert blinked more than necessary, "What about me?" he asked.

"I don't know?" Lovino wasn't really very interested with the Prussian – he disliked their race, "Tell us something – a secret, a desire, your fears." A flash of emotion flickered as quickly as it had come in the albino's eyes, making the Italian smirk, "… What is it you fear?"

"Me?" The albino considered it for a moment, hands on the glass of beer on the table, which he swayed lightly from side to side in nervousness, "… I fear oblivion."

Lovino raised an eyebrow, "… I don't follow." He was dying. Heck, he'd been dying since the Unification of Italy. He really didn't understand.

"Yes, do expound," added Antonio, brows furrowing.

Gilbert was at a loss. He didn't really know how to express this fear. Much to his surprise, Alicia chuckled softly from beside him, "I think I know what you mean." All of a sudden, three pairs of eyes were turned back to her.

"We're all once-great nations, with names to be proud of," she wasn't even a Nation, but she had been great. Reinstated after two-hundred sixty years? It was unheard of before, "And if the greatest of the past hadn't been forgotten, it makes us yearn to never be forgotten, rendering us immortal in the eyes of the world." Antonio and Lovino seemed used to her manner of speaking, but the Prussian gawked at her – he'd never heard a woman speak that way before, "However," she pressed on, "The inevitability of the world is oblivion. We're immortal not by our choices, but those who dictate it for us. And it is always a cross of fates in the end-" it sounded like she was talking beyond the hints of dying now, "-like how life and time like to meddle and mess things up. There will come a time when we begin our light of consciousness, and there will become a time when that light dies. Perhaps not anytime soon for a lot of our kind, but it will come too. It's inescapable, so I encourage you to ignore it." She shrugged.

"God knows everyone else tries to do the same. That's why being human has been so much simpler."

For a long time, none of them spoke.

Then, a grin began to play upon the Prussian's lips, "Well, I'll be damned," he muttered. Lovino didn't look like he liked it much.

"Stay away, potato-bastard, or I'm kicking your ass." But both Antonio and Gilbert laughed.

"I'm not going to risk a sooner death, Lovino, calm down," the albino's red eyes turned to Alicia, however, who turned a little pink at his gaze, but otherwise said nothing, "It's just… You're something else, aren't you?"

Alicia didn't respond, but took downed her glass in one gulp.

One look into Antonio's wicked grin, however, and the albino gulped, tore his gaze from the Aragonese woman and returned his attention to his beer.

* * *

"You don't have to keep doing this to yourself, you know."

Gilbert was walking with her back to the hotel she was staying in. He was staying with Antonio for the night, and insisted he walked the Aragonese woman to her hotel ("Women shouldn't be walking alone at this hour!"). Regardless of what the other two would think, he was only doing what he thought was best as a person who practiced chivalry. After all, he still quite thought of himself as a knight.

As they walked down the empty streets, Alicia looked up at him, eyebrow raised, "What are you talking about?"

"This." Piercing red eyes stared at her, "You deserve so much more than this. You shouldn't be torturing yourself, locking yourself away just because our best friend is being the biggest idiot in the universe."

Alicia stopped in her tracks, and turned to the Prussian, her amber eyes meeting his tantalizing red ones, "… Then tell me," she said, her voice strewn with unsettled emotions, "What do you think I should do?"

For a long time, Gilbert just stood there, considering her words. He wasn't very good at that department – he was hardly romantic. And the last woman he ever loved… Well, he didn't want to talk about that often, "Why don't you show me your city?" Alicia stared at him, dumbfounded, so he decided to continue, "No, I mean… I've walked you around Berlin, and I even went as far as bringing you here to Madrid, under the circumstances. And as much as Francis is an annoying prick for leaving you without even a word, you should do something fun because you deserve it."

She still wasn't so convinced, "Why, though?" she demanded, looking up at him, "Why do I deserve it? If something like this happens, doesn't that mean this is what I deserve?"

"No." The Prussian was firm in his reply, brushing her hair back, "You're beautiful. And you don't deserve to be treated like dirt."

He attempted to brush away bristles of her hair from her face, when the Aragonese woman slapped his hand off, although almost out of reflex. Then, upon realizing what she did through wide eyes, she began to walk rapidly away, until all of a sudden, she stopped in her tracks and turned back to the albino.

The streetlamps made her night-black hair look silver in the night, and she seemed to be holding back tears, making her amber eyes sparkle like gold. For a long time, she breathed out into the summer air, not knowing what to say, until- "You really want to come visit my home-town?"

A grin made its way upon the Prussian's face, "Yeah. I've got time, anyway, so why not?"

"When?" Alicia was still wondering how it all happened.

Gilbert blinked twice. Then a small smile gently crossed his face, "Now. Now would be a great time to see your place," he shrugged, "I've got time. And so do you. I'd love to see your hometown." He looked up at the sky, "We don't have many stars like this in Berlin."

This time, a small smile began to grace the Spaniard's lips, "We have more stars in my place."

"So I can go?"

"It's midnight," she began to say, as though to state the obvious, "And it's not much like your city. It's old, and I'm in the country-side, and-"

"Do I take that as a yes?" He was Prussian, proud, and never backed down from a challenge.

Alicia only smiled wryly at him, "I'll see you tomorrow, Gil."

* * *

Trains were the most marvellous to take when travelling through Europe. Gilbert loved the sights, and apparently, Alicia did too. The views from the main city of Madrid began to change and morph into the beautiful greeneries of the country-side as they entered some of Spain's other region. They left around noon (because Antonio took all morning to convince), and it was around dusk that they entered Aragonese territory. The city lights began to light up one by one, like stars beginning to light up the night sky and Alicia smiled widely. She tugged on the Prussian's hand, making him turn a light shade of pink, before she pried open the doors and led him to the back, where the train opened to the night air. The night was cool, and just as the lights turned on, several lanterns began to float up in the air.

"Wow." Gilbert grinned.

"I still haven't figured out how they do it, honestly," she chuckled a little, looking up as well, "Their timing is impeccable, like they've formed some sort of system or rhythm to make it look this beautiful."

The albino couldn't agree more.

The first night was spent in comfortable conversation. She brought him out to see the stars, her sacred sanctuary underneath the velvet-blue sky. She didn't even understand why she was so willing to have offered to see them. She never even got Francis to see them. But then again, the Frenchman barely had time for her, or he did, but preferred not to spend it with her. Either way, Alicia didn't want to dwell – Lovino had taught her not to, after the past few years. She wasn't the big kingdom she used to be, they weren't on equal footing as they were before, but-

"It's beautiful."

The Prussian's words brought her back to her thoughts, "They're like diamonds." He added, in his voice as cool as the night-time breeze.

"They do." She agreed, then began to walk down before him, turning the flashlight she had in her hands off to sit on the patch of grass, before laying down, "They're such beautiful sights. I can't help but always come back to the sight of them."

He followed her and lay down beside her. "I've missed the sight of them. I remember the first time I took Ludwig out to see the stars. He looked at me with wide eyes and said, '_Bruder_, we're rich. Look how many diamonds we found.' He reached out his tiny hands to grasp them and was very confused when he couldn't grab anything."

"Lovino had the same problem too," she smiled, "He thought we could come out and pay all our debts with the beauty we found here... But stars are what they are. They're just beautiful things that light up our sky." She glanced at him, "Toni was the one who showed me this place... But he eventually forgot all about it. He's never gone back here since after the War of Succession."

"I fought in those wars," he chuckled lightly, albeit proudly, "It was such a long time ago. I miss days like those so much now."

Alicia raised an eyebrow, "Those wars sent me into a coma for nearly three hundred years."

"I'm sorry," Gilbert immediately apologized, his eyes meeting hers in the dim light, "But at least you're not dying." He said it so – almost too – bluntly.

"Don't-" she bit her lower lip and avoided his gaze, "Don't say it like that, Gil."

"I'm sorry. I don't wish to upset you und sound harsh. I guess I'm just a bit bitter to the Allies for separating me from my brother and taking my country away." He sighed.

She turned to him now, "I don't blame you," her voice was low, and it was shaking a little, "Though, I guess, I can't blame them either. That's what wars do, and what victors of war think they can do... But Gil," she drew a deep breath, "I didn't show you the stars so that you can get angry some more, you know?"

He had a guilty look etched on his face. "I-I'm sorry... I just need to learn to get it out of my head but it's hard." He sighed and stared at the sky. "I'll try to put it out of my mind for you though."

She chuckled a little, reached for his hand and gave it a small squeeze, "It's all right, actually. If you want to talk about it, I mean. I'm here to listen..." she smiled warmly at him, "But before that, let's enjoy the night sky first, okay?"

"When we get back, then." He was relieved he'd have someone else to tell. He didn't want to tell his brother anymore because he was already so broken over the war. He smiled and looked back up.

She looked up at the stars again. It was refreshing to have someone around after being alone for quite some time. It took her away from her thoughts. "My favourite," she started, pointing up at something bright in the sky, "Is that one." It didn't twinkle, like the rest of them stars, but it seemed to emanate a bright blue hue. "That's Venus."

"The bright and morning star is its nickname." He smiled, pleasantly surprising her, "I like that star." He pointed to a very small, dim star. "I've seen it since I was little and it still stays strong. It's smaller and weaker than the rest yet it's stayed true thought the ages."

She turned to him with a grin, "It's starting to sound a little like you, then," she chuckled. Their conversation was like that part of the galaxy that they could see: it just kept going and going.

"That's what I told myself. I've watched it through the years and it's always there." He smiled. "It's good to see it is still there."

"I hope it'll always be." She didn't know how it had sounded, but she meant it to be comforting.

* * *

She sat him down that evening in the small dining table right next to the kitchen. Alicia offered him coffee, and they sat next to each other in a sort of comfortable silence. He didn't want to upset her – she had been upset far too much already, and his whole point was to brighten up her mood. But the atmosphere in the room was similar to that of an upcoming storm. It had to hit somewhere.

Her voice was shaking as her hands gave him his coffee, and she clasped hers between her hands, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Gilbert took a short sip of coffee. The warmth felt wonderful. "You've done nothing wrong."

"Yes, I know, but-" she looked up at him, tears brimming in her eyes, "I've done nothing to be much help either."

""What are you talking about? You've been great! You've helped me a lot. Why are you crying...?" He hated seeing people cry. He didn't know what exactly to do about it.

She chuckled a little as she attempted to wipe her tears, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she cried, "I'm just… I think of-" she gulped, "Then I think of you… And all these emotions just begin to rise up. I'm sorry."

"I should have died a long time ago, and yet I'm still here," he smiled, trying to reassure her, "It's okay."

"I worry more for you now, hearing that, Gil." Tears streamed down her face now, "After our adventures today, I... I don't know... I..." she couldn't finish her sentences anymore.

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, still wanting her to stop crying. "I'm still alive, aren't I? I have a reason to live. I don't plan on dying anytime soon."

She laughed a little, wiping her tears away with her free hand, attempting to even out her breaths, "I just... I don't know, Gil. I know you're probably more scared than I am, but that doesn't erase the fact that I fear for you as well."

He was more than scared, he was terrified. He feared leaving his brother and those he cared for. His heart had stopped before causing him to wither in pain in his brother's arms until the beating started again. He was more than thankful that it hadn't done that while he was around Alicia. "Don't be scared. The awesome me won't leave this world that easily." He said with a smile as he laughed a little.

She knew he was trying to comfort her. And she knew it because she had done the same thing to Lovino when the Italian was a child, right before she had a coma. She'd been there, and she'd done that. So instead of smiling as well, more tears swelled in her eyes, making her throw her arms around the young Prussian, knocking her chair out of the way, and her head resting on his lap - probably even wetting them with her tears, "... You don't have to put up that face in front of me, Gil."

"I'm fine, really. You don't have to cry for me." He placed his hand on her hair, gently stroking it. He didn't want anyone to cry for him, mainly because he believed he didn't deserve anyone to miss him.

She shook her head hard against his hand. How could he say something like that? They were friends, weren't they? Much closer now than before, even. Especially under these circumstances, so... "How could you say that to me, Gil?" she demanded, "_Why_ would you even say that? Of course I'll cry for you. It's one way of showing I care about you."

"Because I don't deserve it." He said as he fiddled with his fingers. He looked like a child being scolded by their mother when she demanded him to answer. He wanted to be friends with her. No, he was friends with her. But he didn't want anyone to mourn for him. Especially not her.

"Ah, Gil." She stood from the floor and enveloped him in another embrace, with her caressing his hair as it came about near her waist, "Everyone deserves to be cared about. Knowing how much of a cry-baby I am, I might cry the most." She chuckled and attempted a smile, "So don't give me that bullshit, okay? You're worth more than that."

He stayed awkwardly in her embrace though he enjoyed her comforting touch. He was shaking a bit from her words. "B-But... Russia told me it's my fault. All those deaths from the war are on me..." He admitted finally. "How can someone with so much blood on their hands be mourned when they die?"

She winced. Finally, he said something. Something incredibly painful. She bent down and cupped his face in her hands, "Listen to me very carefully," she said slowly, her eyes amber eyes staring into his crimson ones, "You don't have to keep all that blood on your ledger. War isn't your fault. And the blood spilt there aren't on your hands. That's the side-effect of war," she gently ran a hand through his hair, "You don't have to keep blaming yourself on that, and listening to the likes of Russia, no doubt. You were his prisoner, Gil. He'd be the one to feed you the most bullshit." She was angry at that thought. She'd already had Antonio nearly broken by England once. And now she's seeing someone else who had it much, much worse.

"I know... I know what he said was more than likely not true and he just wanted to break me. But if it wasn't my fault, then why did they dissolve me?" His blood, red eyes scanned her amber ones as if he were searching for an answer.

"Because that's what their people wanted." Her answer was simple, but tears brimmed in her eyes again, "Isn't that what we are? We are what the people want us to be. And we do what our people want us to do. And they dissolved you because people, not yours, wanted to." Something heavy fell into the pit of her stomach. She could almost literally feel her heart breaking.

He wiped her tears away and smiled a bit. "_Danke_..." He said with a shaky voice. "If you think you've done nothing for me, think again. You're so kind to me and you make me happy. I never thought anyone could cry for me as you do. I guess I was wrong." He laughed heartily, "I'm sorry I made you cry." He brought her into a warm embrace. "I needed to let that all out..." He said almost cheerfully.

A small smile played upon her lips. It's been a long time since someone had brought her in for an embrace, but she was more than happy to help, "I'll cry for you any day you need me to," she laughed a little, sniffling, "You don't have to thank me. And you don't have to apologize. I'm here, so I'd want to help..."

He let go of the embrace and stared at the cup of coffee he had hardly touched. "I hope you don't mind, but I don't want any more of my coffee. I'm exhausted and I wish to go to bed. Is that alright?" He did look exhausted, yet he looked happier. Their conversation had given him some sort of happiness back. His eyes no longer carried the weight of the world like they had used to. Instead, they began to have a kind of sparkle back in them.

She smiled and nodded, "Of course it's all right, Gil. Would you need me to help you back upstairs?" She was glad to be able to do something for him. Even just a bit. Even for a while.

"Yeah, if you don't mind," He stood up and waited, wobbling slightly on his feet.

"All right then," she said, smiling slightly and wiping away the last of her tears, "Come on. I'll bring you up."

She helped him up the stairs and brought him into the room. It had been so long since she last had a decent conversation with the Prussian without him being drunk, or half-sober. It was comforting to say the least. "Keep your phone next to you, and just tell me if you need anything, okay? I'll be more than happy to help you out." She smiled as she sat him down on the bed in his room.

"Yes, I will," The albino lay down and looked up at her, "Good night." And he closed his eyes, quickly engulfed by slumber.

She watched him sleep by the doorway for a long time. The entire time he had been with her, not once had the Frenchman crept into her mind. He had done a good job of distracting her, and she was indeed happy to be with the Prussian. Her heart began to beat fast when she thought about it, and she tried to drown her thoughts. Gilbert was her friend, and he's only trying to help. It had always been that way. So she smiled at his sleeping form and closed the door.

"Good night."

* * *

**A/N: **This was long... So sorry, I needed time to retrieve some dialogue from the rp's I had~ What do you think?


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I keep reading or watching stories that are typically a girl whose life changes upon meeting a boy. So, I'm here to shake things up a little. Now, why don't we do it the other way around? Oh, don't worry. If I'm successful, you'll all hate me for making you cry ;) Enjoy.

* * *

"_**Loving someone**__ is giving them the power to hurt you,_

_**But trusting them not to.**__"_

_~Unknown_

* * *

Chapter Two

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're beautiful."

Sun-kissed skin, amber eyes that glistened like gold – her features were uncannily similar to Antonio's. And yet, she was warmer, her smile seemed to lighten his heart, and as tears filled her eyes, Gilbert felt the need to take whatever pain it was away. He wanted to just protect her – whatever it must be that was hurting her. And he wanted to punch the gut out of his idiot of a best friend because for hurting someone as precious as her.

"Why?" she asked him as they stood in a garden surrounded by flowers the young Spaniard had grown herself, "Why, then, could he leave me like that? He and I have been at this for nearly a thousand years, and still, I'm compared to his once-perfect love. I'm tired, Gil. I'm tired of trying to reach that arc that only Jeanne has managed to reach. Why am I still here?"

"We can all ask questions like that. Why did I care so much for a little stubborn prince whose heart was shattered by his unloving father?" Gilbert looked at her and lifted her head so she could look at him in the eye as he was a few inches taller. "You're beautiful. Don't let you or anyone else tell you any differently. You're beautiful, and nobody can replace you." He began to lightly stroke her hair, in a vague attempt to calm her down.

Tears filled her eyes and right after he stroked her hair, all the emotions swelled in her heart. She couldn't help but lock her arms around him, burying her head in his shoulders. He was still taller than her. And although he had grown thin, she was still comforted by the fact that there was at least something to embrace with him. "Why?" she began to ask, "Why and how are you able to say that? How are you able to say all these nice things, and somehow, I..." she gulped, sniffled and cried against his shoulder, "... Somehow, I believe you..."

"You should believe me. It's true. If it weren't, I wouldn't have said it." He continued to stroke her hair. He wrapped his arms around her. "I'll tell you a million times until you believe me."

"How are you able to say that to me? And why should I believe it?" she cried harder, "Why would he leave me alone all these months? How could I believe it when I feel as though I'd always have to compete for his affections from someone he used to know?"

He couldn't help but wipe the tears away from her eyes, "Because he's broken. And so are you," the albino didn't understand why he was defending the Frenchman, even if he had even more reason to hate him now, "We all are. But some of the most beautiful things are. Like flower, being blown by the wind, it shows its beauty day and night; And that's what you are. A flower."

Alicia stared long and hard at him, her amber eyes meeting his blood-red ones. Only earlier that day, they had grown dull and lack-luster because the Prussian had an attack. She'd cried, not knowing that his sickness had gone that bad. But at his words, her heart began to race – she'd almost forgotten what this feeling was. It was all too familiar.

Her heart skipped a beat, "Oh Gil," she pulled away from his embrace, a smile playing upon her lips, even though tears still ran down her face, "Th-Thank you," she said weakly, "I really don't know what you see in me that you're able to say that... _Pero, muchas gracias_~" And out of pure instinct, she tiptoed a bit, holding him firmly by the shoulders, and gave him a soft peck on the cheek, "You should speak that way of yourself as well."

He blushed at her kiss. He wasn't used to physical displays of affection, and so he wondered if romantics were that way with everyone – if she was affectionate with everyone. However, he stroked her hair and smiled. "Maybe you should look at yourself close and you'll see the beauty I'm able to see in you." He brushed hair away from her eyes then wiped her tears with the back of his hand.

She smiled and turned a light shade of pink at his touch, "I've tried, and trust me, you and I seem to see two different things in me."

"You're beautiful though. How you can't see this is beyond me. Even blind eyes should be able to see your beauty." He smiled and gently ran his hand through her hair, which was nice and smooth against his fingers. Her skin was wonderfully soft. She was indeed beautiful. If she didn't see that, he decided she must be looked at something else other than herself. "Just because Francis hasn't come back for a while doesn't mean you're not beautiful. You're dead wrong if you think that." His touch was soft and gently despite his bony skin and hands that had been used for so much war.

This time, she laughed a little. It was almost as though there was something in how he would say 'beautiful' that made her feel better. And his touch was gentle, and unexpectedly soft against her skin, "You're so kind to say that," she whispered, eyes disappearing once more in her smile, "You really have some way of speaking and making me believe you."

"You should believe me like I said before!" He beamed at the sight of her laughing. He gently stroked her cheek. She could feel the shaking in his hands. He was still quite weak. "Until you believe it one hundred percent, I'll keep saying it. You are beautiful."

She leaned into his touch, which was ever so gentle. It felt comfortable against her skin, and when she felt him shake slightly, she placed a hand warmly upon his, keeping his hand against her face, "All right then," she said with a soft chuckle, "I believe you, I believe you~" she smiled and looked up into his crimson eyes, "But... Just so that I won't forget," she bit her lower lip, "Could you say it one more time?"

"You're beautiful." He smiled.

At first, Gilbert didn't understand. Well, maybe he did, but he had never been good at this sort of thing. First of all, they were friends. Not the long-time kind, but since she was Antonio's sister, so as an extension, she was his friend. A good one at that, since they got along marvellously. For another, she was Francis'. He was respectable enough not to touch what isn't his, and by how she was acting, she was still very much in love with Francis. Besides, they'd only met, what, yesterday afternoon? Who knows what this was? Perhaps his chivalry was merely getting the better of him. And perhaps he's just never seen a woman so massively charming, aside from the one he had tried so desperately to get over for the past thousand years.

But Alicia was, indeed. She was beautiful. And Gilbert had to try desperately hard to keep his eyes off her.

* * *

She hated being sick.

She loathed feeling weak and helpless, in fact. Which was why, whenever the Prussian would plead for her to do things, regardless of him being sick, she would oblige and grant him his requests – after all, she would be found doing the same thing. And that day, it was horseback riding. Because they both missed the feeling of being free, the wind running through their hair, with all they could see is the dust behind them. The Prussian, although weak and still somehow sick, insisted on a horse-back ride with her all around the country-side, but the moment she doubled-over in pain, he rushed to her aid like a knight in shining armour, even though he knew the repercussions.

So, as Alicia brought the stubborn Prussian back from the hospital, they sat in the backseat of her car with her munching on a cracker, "Seriously," she said, "You shouldn't have done that. You should have called for help."

"And what if they didn't hear me?" Gilbert was beside himself, although cold and shivering in the summer heat and basking in whatever warmth her embrace could give him, "You were in trouble, and I had to help you. I regret nothing." He smiled slightly at her.

It made her heart skip a beat.

But she hid it through a soft, light-hearted chuckle, "You're really old-school. Nobody does that anymore, you know?"

Gilbert grinned at her, "I'd ride a horse over a car and write a letter over a text any day."

"Ah letters," she sighed dreamily as she sank in her seat, "Sappy, romantic letters written in long-hand…" she turned to him curiously, "Ever sent one?"

"Er…" the honest answer was 'no'. All of the letter he'd ever sent were in the midst of war. Hardly any of his orders were to be considered romantic, "Not really, no. And you? Have you gotten one?"

"No," she shrugged, "I've only seen and heard about them from the girls in my town."

"Wait, what? Really?" The Prussian seemed more surprised than she was, "I could have sworn Francis would have at least sent you one."

"Well, he didn't." Alicia didn't really feel much like talking about him. And besides, she was tired.

So Gilbert insisted for her to take a nap when they had reached her hacienda. The moment he knew she was slumbering, the Prussian looked for the best stationery he could around the house, and with his best efforts, copied the Frenchman's penmanship to write her a letter. After all, they'd been friends for so long that he easily could. ("This is easier than copying Luddy's penmanship~") And besides, it would make Alicia happy, and it would lessen her anger at Francis. And even if he didn't really like the thought of Francis being close by, if it made her happy, he'd do it. So, he mustered up his most charming words:

_My Sunshine, Alicia, _

_Days do not go by without a single thought of you. I may not tell you where I am, or how I came to be here, or why it is that I should remain, but rest assured, my love, that my nights are empty like the night sky without the stars. Every day I miss your touch, and each day I pray for your safety and patience. Not a day has gone by that I did not yearn for the warmth of your embrace, or the sweetness of your voice. The perfect words may have crossed my mind, but at the moment, there is nothing in it but you. Do not let your love waver, my dear, my Alicia, for right now is but a moment, and I do promise to return to you as soon as I can. I have but a business to finish that I do not wish you to be involved in, for it is a dangerous matter; a matter I cannot risk losing you to. _

_I know that I may have failed you, that many times I have caused your eyes to run dry in tears, and I am deeply sorry for all the pain that I've caused you. You, my one true love, my only beloved, who shines like the light from the sun. Never forget that we've both had a painful, broken past behind us. Still after all these years, we pick up the shards that have been left behind. Perhaps together, we shall be renewed. For I will be forever indebted to you, for loving a wretch like me-_

He paused momentarily. Well. He was starting to sound a little like himself, but he figured that Francis would probably be saying the same thing. After all, Alicia was an absolute _angel. _He and Francis were nowhere close to that. So he continued on writing:

-_all these years, until the years turn into decades, and decades into centuries for our kind. We're all a little broken, after all. We all have our demons. And we find the ones whose demons play well with ours. _

_But my dear, as constant as the stars above, always know that you are loved. And this love that shines in you will forevermore allow me to return back into your arms. Time has brought your heart to me, and there it will remain. There are no sweeter words to me than those uttered from your mouth, and there can be no other home for me, unless they are in your arms. You are and always will be, forevermore, my only one. _

_So allow a few more days of being without you, knowing that to you, I will always return. _

_All my love, _

_Francis Bonnefoy_

He folded it neatly and placed it within an envelope, and stuck it in her stash of mail. The moment she woke up to his crimson eyes, he told her that the mail had arrived. And when her eyes caught sight of it after rummaging, she trembled upon opening it. Immediately, the Prussian thought he had succeeded, for tears began to stream from her eyes.

However, there was one problem: Alicia _had realized_ it was him. She knew how Francis sounded (slightly conceited and incredibly flirtatious), and that definitely wasn't Francis she heard in the letter – it was Gilbert. And she continued to cry because it was beautifully written, and he had made a huge effort to try and make her feel better, even going to the lengths of writing a love letter. She realized that it was time to listen to what her heart had been telling her, and to put her thoughts of Francis on hold. Before her, after all, she had the Prussian. She had Gilbert now.

And it wasn't long, either, until Alicia had begun to think about that. About him. About Gilbert, more and more, then think of Francis much less. The thought of the Frenchman hadn't even struck her yet, until the albino suggested to give her brother a call, and the typically oblivious Spaniard just had to ask. Again, it cost her a night's worth of sleep (which the Italian didn't enjoy, seeing as she passed out that very afternoon). However, even Antonio and Lovino (who remained a package wherever they went) were extremely astonished at how the two ended up being, even after only barely a week. Lovino acted more vocal about it than Antonio, though, who suddenly became a cheeky, quiet wallflower whenever her sister and the Prussian would be coddled together.

"Did we miss something important here?" demanded the Italian, raising an eyebrow at them as they were awakening from the couch one morning after managing to sleep there for the night.

"Why do you always have to ask so harshly?" the albino raised an eyebrow at him, "We were just talking, and I got tired and fell asleep on her, and she fell asleep too. There's all there is to it."

Alicia could only chuckle, and said nothing.

She wondered, now, what the chances were of her having to have developed feelings for the Prussian. All of a sudden, she realized that it wasn't impossible. In all honesty, with the recent turn of events, it was highly probable. Though it may be true that she'd never loved a person as much as she had loved Francis, it was only now that she feeling what it is like to truly, genuinely care about someone. And not just in the peaks of good times, but also in the worst of them. Even at the very brink of death. She didn't get tired of waking up next to Gilbert, and in fact, she had gotten into a habit of looking for him the moment her eyes opened. And as much as the thought had never crossed her mind before, she now realized that she was in the danger of it.

She was in danger of falling in love with Gilbert Beilshmidt.

The Aragonese woman quickly shook this thought away as she found Antonio and Lovino escaping into the back garden for some time alone while she picked up a pastry and a cup of coffee in the kitchen, before returning to the living-room to find the Prussian occupying the entire length of the sofa. She raised an eyebrow and sat on the nearest chair, "You seem to be comfortable there." And she bit into her pastry.

"Well, you were seated here a while ago, so it wasn't like I could stretch my feet~" the Prussian said to her with a grin.

"Mhmm," she nodded, her eyes gleaming with mischief as she continued to eat her pastry, "And here I was, willing to offer my lap for you to lie on in case you were still tired."

"Well, you do look awfully lonely over there," And Gilbert shifted and moved to one edge to give some space, "Look! There's room for two!" And apparently, two can play the game as crimson eyes danced with playfulness.

"All right, all right," she chuckled and sat beside the albino, "You did say I can stay right?"

He laughed. He always seemed somewhat better when he was with her. She had a very positive effect on him, "_Ja_, of course," he smiled at her, "You make me very happy."

She beamed at him, "Don't worry. The feeling is very mutual." It was no secret that she enjoyed his company very much. She finished off her pastry and drank some more coffee, "I hope you get better to at least come and see the stars with me again~"

"We can do that tonight if I take it easy," he suggested, "I'd love to see them again. They're so beautiful. They remind me of you." And he smiled at her.

"Oh, Gil," she whispered, not escaping the flush of pink that rose to her cheeks as she set her coffee cup aside, "I think I've got nothing as compared to those stars."

"That's where you're mistaken," Gilbert said, his smile widening, "You shine bright in the dark. You sparkle when you smile. And you're so, so beautiful."

She didn't know why, but she resisted a very strong urge to kiss him again. She turned bright red at his statement, and then stroked his hair gently, "Gil," she whispered, "That's what you do to me. That's seemingly your effect on me." She chuckled lightly.

He smiled at the feeling of her hand running through his hair, "What are you talking about?" He asked, but Alicia shook her head. So instead, he caressed her cheek. Her skin was soft against his hand. She _was_ so beautiful. "There's an old Prussian story about a princess of the galaxy. She was crowned with the constellations and the light of the stars clothed her. She walked upon the arms of the galaxy themselves. I think you fit that role perfectly."

She laughed a little, "I don't think I'd do very well as a princess of the galaxy," she was nearing him now, and she didn't mind. His hands were a little cold and slightly bony, but very gentle, "Unless, of course, you fit in there somewhere."

"I could be the king of the night," he said it almost proudly, like how little kids would play pretend, "We could rule side-by-side. You'd be the beauty, and I'd be the beast." He continued to gently caress her cheeks gently.

Alicia raised an eyebrow at his statement, "But I don't think you're a beast." She was so close to him that she could see her reflection in his eyes, "You're… Misunderstood." She grinned cheekily.

"Misunderstood?" he looked almost appalled, "Now how do you think I'm that over a beast?" He asked in a curious tone.

"Because someone who's been so kind, caring and gentle towards me can't possibly be a beast," she smiled. Antonio and Lovino chose this time to re-enter the living room, both panting and looking very red in the cheeks, but gaped upon seeing them. She didn't notice.

And apparently, neither did he. He was so lost in her beautiful, golden eyes. "If you say that, and I'm willing to believe it, then why can't you believe that you're beautiful? I've said it over and over again, and I'll say it over and over again until you believe me. Why would I lie to you? You're beautiful."

Lovino coughed, gaining their attention, and making the young Aragonese woman blush widely, and the Prussian seemed to have no idea why Antonio had been glaring at him for the past five minutes.

* * *

**A/N**: It's shorter than my usual, yes, because I'm about six hundred words short, so for my next chapter, I do promise more than four thousand words if you all will leave me a kind review. Many thanks! And by the way, this has a little bit of editing done on it already~


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: **A bit of Spamano fluff in here, and a whole lot of Gilicia. If you don't fall in love with them in this chapter, I don't know when you will XD I'm still not promising a happy ending, so you guys… You better ready your tissues after this.

* * *

_Gravitation is not responsible for __**people falling in love**__._

_~Albert Einstein_

* * *

Chapter Three

"We _have_ to do something, Toni. What if-"

"No, Lovi. No we don't."

As the two left the hacienda, leaving Alicia with Gilbert once more, Lovino seemed more apprehensive than the Spaniard, "Antonio." He said slowly, "This isn't a joke."

"I'm not kidding, Lovi." And emerald eyes turned to the Italian as they walked towards their car, "_Mi hermana_ knows what she is doing. And I may not act like it a lot, but I actually do trust Gilbert a whole lot more with her than I do Francis. Especially with matters of the heart."

"That doesn't make any sense." The auburn-haired man scowled, "Francis is the Country of Love. Even _you_ know that. Why would you trust a country that has gone from one war to another, a country that has been destructive and gotten into nothing but war, with matters that deal with the heart?"

Antonio drew a deep breath and took the Italian by the hand, "… Remember me?" he asked nervously, "When I was young, and adventurous? Remember how I thought I could own the world, keep it within my fingertips?" Lovino nodded, "Well, Gilbert was pretty much the same. We fought in different ways, but we had the same idea in mind. And after that – after being thrown into wars such as that, and losing so much that we bargained for, I know there is one thing he learned the true meaning of…"

Emerald eyes met amber ones, and Lovino's heart missed a beat, "Love."

But the Italian was unconvinced, "Still." He insisted, "This isn't about you, or us. This is about _sorella_."

"_Si_, that is true," the brunet said, "And it is also about Gilbert. Tell me, do you think he can heal himself?"

Lovino scoffed, "Not the way he's treating himself."

"If I'm correct, and I could be wrong," Lovino rolled his eyes here, "Alicia can help heal Gil. She can. And, well… She can also might just heal herself."

"How can you say that so surely?"

Antonio shrugged, then said bluntly, "Because she loves him."

* * *

They had resumed their position on the sofa, and Alicia sat comfortably by the Prussian's side. He had, once again, brought up a great king of his, whom he had considered a father-figure. But the day was passing by, and noon had settled in, and she was still so engrossed in their conversation. So was he, "I'll be able to see him soon," he mused, smiling at the thought, "Hm… I'm getting hungry."

"Not too soon, though, _por favor?_" she pouted a little, "I think I can whip you up something to eat, if you're hungry."

"I'll try but I do look forward to seeing him again." He looked at her. "Nein, I just want a piece of bread or something. Mein stomach is still a bit upset."

She looked down at her hands and nodded. She didn't want him to leave just yet – especially not after they were getting along so well. It pained her to think about it. She attempted a smile and made a motion to stand, "Okay. I'll go get you some Spanish bread. We always have some in the morning." But she only tried to dispel the thoughts that had reeled in her mind. She didn't like the idea of him dying. How could he want to die so badly?

He noticed the sadness in her smile. "Danke. I'll be here." He smiled at her. He knew it hurt her to think of him dying. But he was fully ready to. It was the only way the pain would go away. He wanted the pain to go away desperately. She brought him bread on a small plate and a glass of water. She set it right next to her half-empty coffee cup on the center table before them, before she sat next to the Prussian once more. Sometimes, he really made her forget that he was a dying man. She sighed.

"Is something bothering you?" He asked as he nibbled on some of his bread. She looked upset. Even the way she walked gave it away. Her heart was heavy, and he wanted to ease her burden.

She laughed a little, "Yes, but unless you're not dying, you can't do anything about it," she smiled a little.

"Come on, cheer up." He took her chin and made her look at him. "I'm still here aren't I?"

She chuckled, "Yes. That you are Gil," she whispered softly, "And you being here make me happy beyond anything you could imagine." She couldn't tell him. She couldn't just tell him that she had started to fall for him.

"I want to keep you happy. I don't want you to mourn for me. If you knew what death would relieve me from, you wouldn't mourn me. But I can't make you understand." He looked at her with helpless eyes.

She turned to him, "Oh I know what it would relieve you from," she smiled sadly, "I just wish... I don't know... I'd have done something more?" she shrugged.

"What could have you done? You couldn't have helped me when I was being tortured. You couldn't have protested when the papers were being signed. You couldn't have knocked down the wall. Many things are out of your control." He knew that she knew this. He couldn't understand why she cared so much.

"Exactly," she sighed again, "These are things that I already know. But sometimes, theory and execution don't really coincide, now, do they? Much like one's heart and mind."

"What do you mean by that?" He questioned as he looked at her.

She raised an eyebrow, "You mean theory and execution? The heart and mind?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that. What do you mean by that?" He'd never heard or thought of it before.

"It's... an intrapersonal thing," she turned to him, "Sometimes, there are facts that you know. Like, you know there is a wall. You know someone has abandoned you. Or-" she shrugged, "You know someone is going to die. They're facts. But what your heart will tell you are things beyond that. You want to go beyond the wall. You want to stop thinking about being left behind. Or, you'd want to do more for a fate that will remain unchanged. Delayed, probably, but never changed." She smiled sadly, "We don't encounter conflict just outside ourselves, Gil, but also within. A lot of them are mostly within."

"So you're saying that I'm in denial of dying?" He asked, "But I know I'm dying. So how does that apply to me?"

She shook her head, "Perhaps not in denial of dying, no. But maybe in denial of help."

"I don't need help." He stated stubbornly. It was blatantly obvious he was guilty of it. "Many have died on their own, alone. So what makes me different?"

She shrugged a little, "A chance?" she asked, "Or, the difference of a matter of choice?" She pondered over that thought, "... Yeah, perhaps that." She knew that it was highly unlikely that he would feel the same. But she, at least, wanted him to feel cared for. She needed him to know she cared.

He looked at her. "So how is my heart and mind out of sync?" He asked curiously. He was just trying to understand.

"Perhaps," she started carefully, not meeting his gaze, "Your mind says there's no way to help anymore. And your heart may say something else..." _Like give this life a chance._ "But only you can tell everyone else which part you're listening to more."

"So which do you think I should listen to?" He asked her, his crimson eyes looking into her golden ones.

"I..." her breath hitched as he gazed into her eyes. Blood-red as they were, they were also completely mesmerizing. "I don't know," she admitted, "However... I'm more inclined to follow my heart.

"I'm used to listening to my mind. If I listened to my heart in battle, I'd be unable to kill. How do you think that would work for me in battle?" He had to be heartless in order to be the nation of war he was. _How could he be someone he wasn't?_

She shook her head, "But I'm not talking about battle," she said, "I'm talking about here, and now."

"But I've trained myself to go by instinct and not by feeling. I trained myself to believe emotions are weak. I don't know how to think different. I am a warrior." He was very insistent. He didn't like where the conversation was going. He might say something to anger, or displease her. And he didn't want that –he couldn't live with that. Not when she had illuminated the darkness in his heart.

She smiled, "That's exactly it, Gil. Don't think," she took his hand into hers and gave it a gentle squeeze, "It's not something you learn to do on the dot..."

"Many people have tried but I have too much in my heart to allow it to show. If I keep it to myself maybe one day I'll forget." Yes. That was what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do. He wanted to forget. He didn't want her to know the darker sides of him, the sides of him that she would probably hate him for.

"Or maybe it'll start eating you up from inside." She frowned a little and turned to him, this time looking straight into his eyes, "Please?" she begged, "If there's any way I can help at all..."

"I already torment myself. I don't know how you can help." _Or anyone could help._ "You don't hear their cries or see their looks of hate."

He realized he must have said something, because the expression on Alicia's face changed. She suddenly looked pained, more than she had been earlier into the conversation. She looked like she was stabbed in the back. "No, you're right, I don't," she started, nodding, "But you don't see how I look at you either. In fact, that might be all you can see..." she drew her hands back to her lap. Of course she couldn't get him to understand. Not even in the slightest. He couldn't tell just how much she had grown to love him. He couldn't. And perhaps, maybe he shouldn't. "I'm sorry." She stood up, hurriedly wiping the tears that fell from her eyes and fled to the kitchen.

"Wait!" He went after her, but he stood up too fast. His vision went black, and he was on the floor. He had just wanted to comfort her.

She heard a thud, and came rushing back, only to find him back on the floor. "Oh, Gil..." She pulled him back up and back into the sofa, leaning against her once more, "... Y-You didn't have to follow me."

"Y-You were crying..." Even when he was sick, he responded like a knight to a damsel in distress. "I had to help you..."

She stroked his hair and allowed him to cushion his head on her lap, "No... No you didn't," she said slowly, although tears streamed from her eyes, "You need to rest, please."

"I can't see. Everything's black..." He closed his eyes. Vertigo spun his world around. He knew she was still crying. He could feel her shaking.

"Just stay like that for the meantime," she whispered, wiping away her tears with her free hand as she continued to stroke his hair, "I'm so sorry. Just rest first."

"Stop crying please..." He was begging as he rested against her.

"I will, I will," she sniffled and wiped the remainder of her tears. She continued to stroke his hair gently, silently praying that he would feel better, "It should go after a while... You still haven't eaten, and you stood up too fast..."

"I ate some bread." But his bread was about half eaten, lying on a plate on the side-table. "I had so badly wanted to take a walk with you in town..."

"I'm sorry," she said again, "I'll take you on a walk as soon as you feel better. I promise." She kissed him lightly upon the forehead, "For now, please, just rest."

"Can we try tonight?" He looked up at her with his dazed eyes. "Please?" He was begging. She couldn't resist when he was outright begging.

She nodded, "Yes, of course," she whispered, smiling slightly, "But please get some rest, okay?"

He nodded and dozed off to sleep.

Now, she wasn't sure if he was conscious, or he would have heard, but she stared long and hard at him until she found herself kissing him once more upon the forehead, whispering her own, silent apology, "I'm sorry," her voice came out as almost an inaudible whisper, "But I think I love you."

And it didn't seem to matter if he actually heard her or not, because after a few minutes of stroking the Prussian's short, snow-white hair, even Alicia fell sound asleep.

* * *

"And if she does," Lovino stood by his point, "Let's say that she does… Why? Why did she? How could she?"

"You don't think Gilbert can have his own charms?" Antonio raised an eyebrow, "You don't need to have a reason to love someone. You didn't love me because I gave you three meals a day and a _siesta_, did you?"

The Italian turned beet red and turned away, "N-No," he grumbled, "But what about-?"

"He is a worry for another day." The Spaniard didn't want it to be brought up, "As you heard, he didn't want anything to do with my sister for the moment, remember? So let him be the bridge to cross when they get there. I'll be telling him of these advancements anyway, and he won't believe me until he starts calling and she doesn't answer."

"So we'll let them fall in love?" Lovino asked nervously.

Emerald eyes danced in the moonlight, "There's nothing else we can do. They already have."

"Fallen in love?" amber eyes seemed worried, but Antonio only nodded, and kissed him tenderly upon the cheek.

"Just like you and me, Lovi. Smitten and head-over-heels in love, just like you and me,"

"Speak for yourself, tomato-bastard." But the gleam in golden-coloured eyes told Antonio that the Italian's speech was once again not congruent to his true feelings. Just the way he's always loved Lovino to be.

* * *

Alicia didn't notice that she had fallen asleep. She barely moved, and didn't want the albino bothered. However, when he stood up she stirred, as though used to his presence already. The moment she opened her eyes, Gilbert was already hovering over her, dressed up and grinning, "Good morning."

She couldn't help but smile, "Feeling better, huh?" she asked, rubbing her eyes a little.

"You promised we'd go out for a walk, right?" Gilbert immediately said, and she laughed.

"That I did," she nodded, "Just let me get changed and I'll be right to it. We can walk around the park. Would you like me to get you a jacket?"

"Yes please." And he smiled at her consideration of his current malfunctioning health.

She ran up to change into a black dress with a bit of lace, topping it with a grey cardigan. She brought over one of her brother's jacket's for the Prussian as she headed back down to meet him. She recalled what she had said to him, but prayed he was too out of it to have heard, "Hey. Ready?" she beamed at him.

He blushed a little, seeing how breath-taking she looked. And to think she wasn't even that fixed up. He wondered if he was just sick and extremely appreciative. He thanked her for the jacket and threw it around his small frame, "I'm ready," he smiled at her and stood up slowly from the sofa this time.

She smiled as he stood. It was obvious that he really wanted to walk outside that day. She offered him her hand, "Would you like it?"

"Yes." And he took her hand in his, "Can we walk into town, please? I'd like to meet your people."

She agreed and brought him to the car, not wanting him to walk all the way. She slid in after him and the car drove off, "Are you sure you want to walk now, and then still go out to see the stars tonight?" she asked him curiously.

"Yeah, that would be great!" He smiled. "I'd love to see the stars~" He looked at her. Her dress was draped beautifully around her and it made him blush again. He hoped she hadn't noticed.

But she did. And she thought it best not to ask about it, telling herself that he might just be fighting a fever.

When they went out for a walk, her townspeople offered them various sorts of food. It didn't help that they all asked her if he was her lover. Gilbert enjoyed seeing her flustered about the question, before he would say that he was only a friend. But eventually, after walking all around the city, nightfall came, and they found their way into the town square in the middle of the city, and the sat in a nearby park bench. As the sun began to go down, lanterns and lights turned on, one by one. It was almost as though lights were dancing around them.

Gilbert looked up and stared at them with a wide smile, "This is beautiful. It's almost as though the sky is dancing."

"Yeah," Alicia whispered, looking up as well, "I just love to sit here sometimes and watch as it all just comes to a stop."

_But even when it stops, the stars remain,_ the Prussian thought to himself deeply. If the sky were a kingdom, he was the Sun, a powerful light that reigned. But the Sun's time had come, and the Sun will set, and still, the stars would remain and the sky will need a new ruler. And that was who his brother was. Ludwig was the Moon. And his time has arrived.

He spoke these metaphors to Alicia as they stood and walked around, and she smiled when he was done speaking, understanding what he meant even without explaining, "You're pretty poetic when you want to be," she laughed a little as they exited the park right in front of the church, where a couple of children were weaving flowers.

A little boy spotted them from afar then quickly ran towards them tugging at Gilbert's jacket. Then, he held up a crown made of flowers. He smiled at the little child and took the crown. "_Danke shön_." He said happily as he ruffled the child's hair. He watched him run off with a smile to continue weaving flowers. He then put the crown on Alicia's head. He smiled widely, seeing her with flowers around her head.

She laughed a little as he crowned her with flowers, and waved at the children who watched them. "Cheeky little things," she whispered as she looked up at the Prussian, "Thank you, Gil~" she took him by the hand and steered him away, "They probably think the same as everyone in town when they first see you with me~" she chuckled a little.

"I don't understand why everyone thinks that. I mean can't a girl and a boy walk around and not be a couple?" He chuckled. "I've had very few women in my life. I had very few sisters, Hungary I thought was a boy for a long while, there was my great king's wife but he locked her away because he didn't want to be married though his wife loved me like a son, then there's you. I've never had a real relationship with a woman."

"It's a typical misconception, I can't really blame them. We've been walking around holding hands since you got here and it isn't like they know the context," she chuckled a little, but then slowly came to a stop, "But about that, actually..." She didn't know if now was the best time to say it. But when was the best time to say something like that? The opportunity was open now. She didn't know if the same door would ever open again.

"Yeah, what is it?" He turned to her. He looked haunting beautiful in the moonlight. Almost like a ghost with his pale hair and skin then his bright red eyes.

She flushed a little, seeing him in a different light, then shook her head, "No, never mind," she tugged him on, but he pulled her back by the arm.

"You hate it when I keep secrets from you so why do the same to me?" He asked her, eyes filled with curiosity.

She gulped as she looked up at him, cheeks turning red, "W-Well," she started, "There's something I've been meaning to tell you..."

He noticed her flushed cheeks and he felt it was something bad he was about to hear. Thoughts ran through his head and it only made him more anxious for what she was going to say. Though there was nowhere in his mind where he thought that what she was going to say would be good. "Tell me then." It sounded like a command but the expression on his face showed he didn't mean it to be one.

"I..." She searched all her willpower to the right words. She looked for them, but couldn't find them. How was it so easy to say before to someone else, and so difficult to tell him now? How was she to say it? As blunt as 'I love you'? Her mind reeled and somehow, she stumbled with, "I know about the letter." She mentally scolded herself. That wasn't what was she was supposed to say at all.

"You mean the letter Francis sent you? Of course you know about it; you read it." He was still trying to keep up the idea that Francis had written it. He looked a bit anxious – she seemed very nervous.

She chuckled a little, and decided to go with the truth to that statement for the meantime, and perhaps add on a bit later, "No, Gil. I meant that I know that you were the one who wrote it," she smiled a little, "I've actually known since I read it, because he refers to me as something quite different as to how you would refer to me, and the moment I read that, even if it was in his penmanship, it sounded exactly like you."

His shoulders dropped a bit. "I just didn't want to see you cry over him anymore... I wanted to make you smile. You look so beautiful when you smile and I don't get to see it often enough. You always fake a smile. I want to see you truly happy."

She cupped his face in her hands, "And hopefully," she whispered, "I won't fake them anymore." She stared at her reflection in his crimson eyes for a long time. "Gil," she started, "Please believe me when I tell you this, but..." She gulped. _Here it was_, "... I love you."

He didn't quite understand. He had never been told such words aside from Ludwig, Brandenburg, who was his mother figure, Frederick the Great and his wife, and sassy soldiers (if that even counted). "What do you mean?" He knew those words could be said to people all the way from friends to married.

"I mean just what I said," she said slowly, "I've said things I never said to anyone when I'm with you. I'm comfortable, and I want to be with you whether you're sick or not. You've had ways of saying things and making me believe them and I..." she sighed, "I know you may not believe me, a-and that's why I didn't want to say it just yet. I'm not saying this just as friends. I hope you understand that." Tears began to brim in her eyes again. She was scared of what he was going to say.

He had been afraid she had developed feelings for him. There were so many reasons why she couldn't love him. She was Francis's, he was sick and dying, Antonio would more than likely kill him if Lovino didn't find him first, Ludwig wouldn't take it lightly either, and most importantly he was a monster that didn't deserve to be loved. Everyone else who had said they loved him were, in some ways, a monster themselves. There was no way an angel like Alicia could love him. He looked dumbstruck. "I-I..." He was stuttering. "H-How...?" He asked simply.

"Have you ever truly, genuinely loved anyone?" she breathed out, "Did you ever ask yourself how?" She smiled a little, and tears were in her eyes, "It's all right, you know. I just figured you should know. I didn't really expect..." she sighed, "Come on, I don't want you to get cold."

"W-Wait..." He was trying to make words out of his jumbled thoughts. He wiped the tears from her eyes. "_Ich weiß nur nicht verstehen, wie ein Engel, wie man ein Monster wie mich zu lieben,_" He said all in his native language knowing she wouldn't understand it but he asked anyway. "Do you know what just I said?"

"Of course not," she chuckled at him lightly, "You already know that my knowledge of your language is as extensive as my knowledge of French - which isn't much, I tell you." She smiled a little, "What did you say?"

"I said that I just don't understand how an angel like you could love a monster like me." He smiled as he tucked her hair behind her ear. "Would you explain?"

"I told you, remember," she smiled a little at him, "I've never thought of you as that. You're just misunderstood."

"But... what about Francis...?" He asked a bit nervously knowing the topic would be hard for her. But- "He'll kill me if he found you saying that."

"No he won't." She said firmly, "Not if I have anything to say about it, anyway. And besides," she smiled, "He can't be blind to the truth. And the truth is that you're the one I love."

"But you can't be blind to the truth either." He seemed a bit more serious. "I'm going to leave you and die." He said with sad eyes. "You can't ignore that."

She smiled sadly, "I know," she whispered, "And I want to stay with you as much as I can until that day comes."

"What will you do? I can't live forever. You know that. It's not like we can run off and get married to live happily ever after. You know my time is limited and the fact of the matter is when Francis returns, he'll still think you're his."

"But will he, really?" she was starting to get frustrated, "I didn't tell you and expected a happily ever after. Those are fairy tales, but this is reality. If he ever comes back, I'd tell him the truth. He's as good as abandoned me anyway, and you're the only person I see defending him."

"He is... was one of my best friends." He noticed the edge in her voice. "Look he's hurt me too. I just want you to know what your reality is. I'm not going to live much longer. I'm just..." He couldn't find a good way to end the sentence but he could see the growing frustration in her eyes.

_I know what it's like_. The venom in her voice had left, "You're just what?" She asked. For a long time, she just stared at him. Then, she jerked her head, "Come on... It's getting cold."

"Scared – I'm scared," He admitted. The Prussian looked like he was about to freeze to death. If it got any colder outside, his body would shut down.

"Yeah, I know." She whispered, "So am I."

He was still cold in while they were in the car. He was scared and questioning himself. _Did he love her too?_ He didn't know. He could hardly keep himself alive and healthy. Now someone else loved him. He felt like passing out. His body was weak. _Love?_ How could anybody love him? How? No, it must have been a dream, hearing her say that to him.

She still had her hand upon his, "We'll be home soon. Just hang on. I'm sorry." She knew she must have stressed him out, made him think too much. She shouldn't have said anything.

"I'm freezing." _She loved him._ How? He killed so many heartlessly. No, there was no possible way. No, no, no. He didn't deserve it. "Hold me, please." _Did he really just say that?_ Maybe he did love her.

She figured it may just be his sickness talking, so she nodded and wrapped her arms around him, "Okay," she whispered, "We're almost there. Hang on."

He was shaking. A million thoughts were running through his head. He couldn't make sense of them. "I-I..." He couldn't think clearly or say anything.

"Shh." She whispered, tightening her hold on him, "You're going to be okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

"_Ich liebe dich, lieben…_" He said softly. He looked at her with the most sincere look. "_Bitte_, believe me..." He begged her. "_Ich liebe dich_." He said over and over again.

She smiled. Maybe it wasn't the sickness talking, "Come now, hush. I do believe you." She whispered, kissing him lightly upon the forehead, "You'll be okay, _mi corazon..._

_"Te amo."_


End file.
